


Beach Party In Dog Witch's Nudist Apocalypse

by Filthmonger



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Beach Sex, Cock Slut, Comedy, Cowgirl Position, Day At The Beach, Ectobiological Incest, Ectobiology, F/M, Impregnation, Large Breasts, Large Cock, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Nudism, Nudity, Oral Sex, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Sex, Public Nudity, Public Sex, Stripping, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-28 21:33:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20785373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filthmonger/pseuds/Filthmonger
Summary: There are only two things in the whole of Paradox Space that Jade Harley loves more than her friends: Nudism and getting railed by cocks until she's filled with cum.So, naturally, she's going to try and score all three in one sitting.





	Beach Party In Dog Witch's Nudist Apocalypse

The beach stretched out in front of the four of them as a pristine white plain. Bright sunlight lit the sand, the soft surface almost too hot for bare feet. Both turquoise sea and clear blue sky stretched into the distance, the rolling dunes trailing into the horizon. A perfect tropical paradise separated from most of the known multiverse. And infinite, according to Jade Harley, though whether or not it was actually infinite or just a really, really long Mobius strip was something she refused to tell any of them. No one really bothered to question the Witch of Space when it came to distorting the fabric of reality, beyond the immediate "What the fuck?"

"I must admit, I'm rather impressed." Rose Lalonde said.

"Yeah, this is amazing, Jade!" chimed in John Egbert, "Where did you even find this place?"

"I'll never tell!" Jade's pointed dog ears perked up, her tail wagging behind her. "All you need to know is that the sun is shining and the water is warm. Just like back home."

John turned on his heel and pointedly stared out at the ocean. 

"What's the matter?" Jade bounded up behind him.

"I highly suspect it has to do with your choice of swimsuit," Rose chuckled behind her hand.

Jade stuck her tongue out and thrust her chest forward. Her enormous, spill-out-of-both-your-hands chest, barely being contained by her swimsuit. An effect enhanced by both the translucent white material and her tan skin, leaving nothing to the imagination. At all. Her tail wagged out of a small hole cut in the back as she skipped around to John's front, her breasts threatening to escape. "It's not that bad, is it John?"

"What? I mean, um…" He looked away, his pale cheeks turning a bright red.

"Wow, John. A girl's allowed to wear what she wants. No need to shame her for it." Dave said. "Pretty sure Karkat's got some posters you can stare at instead of her."

"What? No! Dave, she's my sister!"

"Only digging yourself deeper, Egbert. Like, straight to the Earth's core. Or paradox space, whatever it is we're floating in right now."

"Knowing Jade, she'd probably have him come right back out where he started," Rose giggled.

John groaned, burying his face in his palms. "Not helping."

Rose and Dave shared a look and a cocked eyebrow. Unlike John and Jade, you could easily believe these two were ecto-siblings. The same short blonde hair, the same air of nonchalance, the same blindingly pale white skin… Twins, however, they were not. Dave stood like a beanpole, his muscles making a valiant effort to stand out. Rose, meanwhile, took a pear-shaped approach, with wide hips and thick thighs.

Her black-painted lips curled into a characteristic smirk. "I think Jade is making quite the statement."

"Yeah, and that statement is 'I'm sexy, and I know it.'" Dave added.

"And I'm not making that statement?"

"Rose, every statement you make is some variant of 'Queen of the Goths.' Shit, you turned up in full make-up to the beach. With a lace parasol. And a swimsuit that looks like you cut it from some vampire's drapes. Where did you even find one with a pattern like that anyway? You know what, nevermind, I already know, because you and your actual vampire girlfriend make it painfully obvious where all your designer shit comes from."

"I admit, having Kanaya around has expanded my wardrobe. But this isn't one of hers. I've had it for a few years, actually. I'm surprised it still fits."

John fidgeted off to the side. 'Fit' seemed to be something of a relative term, given how much the one-piece swimsuit hugged and squeezed Rose's body. Choosing the baggy swim-trunks had been the smartest idea he'd had in years. "So, uh. Did any of us bring beach towels or something?"

"Right here," Jade tossed four tiny grains of rice into the air. Which weren't actually grains of rice, as her rapid expansion powers demonstrated by growing them into thick, rolled-up towels. She'd even colour-coded them with each of their god-tier aspects. "Tada!"

"Whoa, awesome." John hurriedly grabbed all four, keeping his eyes firmly on the sand. "Me and Rose will just, uh, find a nice spot."

"On an infinitely flat beach?" Rose raised a sardonic eyebrow. Still, she followed him, twirling her lacy parasol in one hand.

Jade waved at the two of them, bouncing on the balls of her feet. And making just about everything else of hers bounce as well. She waited until they'd moved a good few meters away before rocking back on her heels and humming to herself.

"Jade, what the fuck are you doing?" Dave asked with his usual nonchalance.

"What do you mean?" She adjusted her large, round spectacles. "Did you forget the plan already?"

"Fuck, no. Operation Naked Beach Orgy is carved into my brain like a nakodile prophecy. A thousand years from now they're going to dig up my skull and use it as a goddamn instruction manual. No, the plan is fine. A piece of fucking art. What I'm asking is why, if you wanted to surprise Egbert's pale nerdy ass, you decided to wear that?"

Jade squeezed her elbows – and by extension, her enormous breasts – together and giggled "Don't you like it, Dave?"

"Jade. That swimsuit is the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen you wear. Which, I admit, isn't really saying all that much given how much you like to not wear anything at all. But still, hot damn. Problem is, it doesn't exactly scream 'subtlety.'" He paused and pushed his sunglasses up. "Though I guess it shouldn't be screaming if it's subtle. Whisper subtlety? What the fuck ever, it's shouting from the proverbial rooftop 'Behold, Harley's glorious fucking tits!' and that is not a good way to start a stealth mission."

"But it is a good way to get part two of the plan underway."

"Ah, yes. Get Rose and John to bone by flashing your own tits. Perfect. Flawless planning."

Jade stuck her tongue out at him, her tail wagging. "Come on, you know it's more than that."

"Believe me, I know. I know every time you walk around the house more naked than your own dog. I know when you spend all night begging me for another round in the bedroom. Or the kitchen, or living room, or the fucking balcony. But out of all the people in this whatever-the-fuck planet situation we've got going on, you pick these two? Why not start your nudist revolution with Roxy? She seems like she'd do it if you just asked."

"So you want to see your mom naked, Dave? That's really kinky."

"Oh, god. Harley, do not put it like that. Rose is bad enough about it. I mean fuck, I think I'm technically older than Roxy at this point. Who the fuck knows what the 'family' dynamic is, and that's family with big fucking air-quotes."

"You guys are my best friends in, well, the whole universe." She giggled. "I just want you all to have as much fun as I do. And trust me, it is so, so much fun!"

"Were you always like this, or is this part of that whole dog thing?"

Jade's only response was a smug smile.

Dave rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses. "Alright, when's go time?"

"I'd like to have John be alone. Give him a little exposure therapy."

"No fucking problem. Frisbee me." He held his hand out. Jade teleported in a suitably sized plastic disk, stepping back with a coo of awe. Dave's sunglasses shone brightly. "Hey, Egbert! Catch!"

With a dramatic flair, Dave launched the Frisbee across the sand. It soared through the sky, flying along a lazy arc, and landed several meters away from where John and Rose had set up the towels.

"Oh, great throw, Dave!" John shouted.

"Shut the fuck up, John. You do better."

"I will!"

"Without your wind powers."

"That's not fair."

"Bullshit, it isn't fair. You don't see me reversing time to score some sweet extra points. And you know I could, Egbert."

John rolled his eyes and gestured with his finger. The sand around the Frisbee swirled in a little tornado, the plastic disk hovering like an alien ship.

"No wind powers, John!" Jade called.

"I'm just picking it up."

"Nope! My beach, my rules!"

"Seriously?"

"Pick up the damn Frisbee, John," Dave said.

"Jeez, what is with those two today?" John muttered. He looked over to Rose, who just gave him one of her mysterious smirks as she settled herself onto her towel, parasol propped up at the head. He marched off towards the lone Frisbee, slipping a little on a loose patch of sand. The small plastic disk beckoned him closer until he stood just above it triumphantly.

With a bright flash, Jade Harley appeared in front of him.

"Wha-!" John started.

"Yoink!" Jade yanked his shorts down. Her eyes widened and sparkled, her mouth hanging open as John's cock hung naked in the breeze. Already an impressive size while flaccid, she wondered how much larger it'd get. Maybe a bit longer than Dave's? Definitely thicker. And surprisingly well-groomed for John's otherwise less than stellar history of tidiness.

John stumbled back, grabbing at his shorts, and landed on his arse. "Not cool!"

Her tail wagged behind her. "Way cool! You've got a nice dick, John."

"Pranking is supposed to be my thing! And even then pantsing someone isn't that much of a- wait, what?!"

"I said you had a nice dick." She squatted in front of him with a big, mischievous grin. "You don't have to be all embarrassed about it. I don't mind seeing it."

"But I mind you seeing it!" He scrambled to cover himself, reaching for the shorts tangled about his ankles.

"Oh no, you don't!" She lunged forwards, dragging the offending garment off his feet. Jade held them above her head, triumphantly.

"Jade, give those back. I didn't bring another pair."

"Nope. My beach."

"Come on, this is ridiculous!"

"Feel the breeze, John. Isn't it so much more liberating like this?"

"It's so much more embarrassing, is what it is!" John's red face grew brighter. "Jade, come on, please."

"Hmm… nope."

With a flash of nuclear green, the swim shorts vanished. Gone, tossed to another part of the infinite multiverse. Those shorts were someone else's problem now. Probably Karkat's.

"What the hell, Jade?!" John screamed.

She giggled, sitting up on her heels. "Sorry, John! Like I said; my beach, my rules!"

"Jade, I'm serious, bring them back right now."

"Aw, you're all red and blushing! Here, let me make you more comfortable."

Her swimsuit vanished in the same nuclear flash.

"That is not making me more comfortable!" John covered his eyes with both hands. Then realised his dick was exposed and promptly covered that instead, leaving him to watch Jade's massive tits sway and bounce with her giggle fit. "Jade!"

She stuck her tongue out at him and promptly teleported back to Dave.

"Goddammit, Jade!" John screamed. He sat there in the sand for a few moments, teeth grinding and brow furrowed. He stood up and shamefully waddled his way over to the towels, grumbling the whole while with his hands firmly clamped over his crotch.

***

"Stage one complete!" Jade beamed as she appeared beside Dave.

"Shit, that was fast. Didn't even give him time to suspect anything. Just straight up pantsed him in public, huh?" Dave cocked an ironic eyebrow. "Damn, Harley, you do not fuck around when it comes to nudity shit."

"Oh, no. I definitely 'fuck around.'" She purred. Which was odd, given her doggy tendencies. She pressed herself right up against Dave, walking her fingers down the front of his chest. "You should know that by now."

"Uh, Jade? Shouldn't we wait to see Rose's reaction?" Dave shivered, as Jade's hand moved closer to his trunks. "Don't get me wrong, I love getting on Jade Harley's Wild Ride. Got season tickets for that shit, complete with VIP privileges and a backstage pass. Or, would, I guess if you weren't so into me going in the front-stage. Fuck, this metaphor isn't working anymore."

She bit his ear gently. Her hand traced over the outline of his cock through his swimwear. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Fuck no. I am down as hell for ploughing you on this beach. But you're jumping from a little casual nudity to full on exhibitionist sex fiend real fast. If this were an amp, we'd be way past eleven right now. We're blasting-our-music-at-3am-on-a-Friday-morning level, Jade, and I dunno if John and Rose are going to join the party or call the cops on us."

"Shh." She squeezed gently, running her thumb along the underside of his cock. Dave sprung to attention, the bulge in his shorts immediately obvious. Jade giggled and pressed her breasts against his back, her hand slipping past the waistband of his shorts. Her fingers curled gently around his cock. Dave's cool façade broke with a hiss of breath, spurring Jade on. She pumped her hand along him, kissing and nipping his neck. Or tried as best she could on her tiptoes. Cupping his ball with her other hand through the swim shorts, Jade was determined to at least get a moan out of Dave before the real fun began.

***

"Hey, uh, Rose?" John mumbled.

She looked up from her book, wry amusement etched on her face. "I was unaware this was that kind of beach."

"It's not! At least, I wasn't told it was? But then again it is Jade's beach, and you know what she's like… Look, you wouldn't happen to have a spare set of clothes, would you?"

"Not unless you feel comfortable wearing several kinds of lace. And while I think it might suit your complexion, these particular laces are designed for, shall we say, more intimate occasions?"

"Oh, god."

"I'll take that as a no, then."

John sighed dramatically and flopped onto a towel, covering his crotch with both hands. "She's not going to let me fly out of here to get new shorts, is she?"

"I'm not sure you can fly out of here anyway. Jade is the only one who knows the rules of this pocket world. Go far enough, and I suspect you'll just find yourself right back where you started. Almost as if she expected you to try to escape."

"Are you saying this whole trip might have been a trap?"

"It's certainly a possibility."

"Urgh!" John held his head in one hand. And shot it back to his crotch at Rose's amused chuckle.

"We're all adults here, John."

"Easy for you to say; you're not the one with their junk hanging out!"

"I'm sensing resentment."

"Uh, yeah? Maybe a little? Jade can do whatever freaky stuff she wants, but I draw the line at her dragging the rest of us into it! She's always trying to do this. You have to have seen it, right?"

"The suggestion has been floated from time to time," Rose said, not looking up from her book.

"Exactly! This whole thing is ridiculous!"

"And why would you think that?"

"Huh? What are you talking about? It's, you know… weird. The whole being naked in public thing?"

"I don't find it weird."

"Why not?!"

Rose peered over her purple-tinted sunglasses. "John, the society we grew up in no longer exists. The rules, the habits, the accepted norms… all of it was destroyed by the meteors. As the survivors, we are free to rewrite those norms as we please. And by the looks of it, Jade is choosing to rewrite fashion entirely."

"I… I guess that's true?"

"It's not as if nudism didn't have its place back on Earth either. If Jade wants to indulge in a habit she couldn't express in our old world, then shouldn't she be free to express it here, in a world literally of her own making? We'd allow you the same courtesy, John."

"Jeez, you make it sound like I'd do something strange on my own planet."

"You would."

"I would not!"

"We all would, John. Frankly, Jade may well be more sensible than our old world was."

"Now, you've lost me."

"Think of it this way; what purpose does a swimsuit actually have? It doesn't protect from the sun, nor the sea, and yet we wear them to the beach. It's clear we all yearn to feel the sun on our skin and the water washing over us. In fact, our swimsuits always grew smaller each year."

"Um, Rose… what are you doing?" John scooted back, trying not to stare as Rose's hand moved up to her shoulder straps.

"It seems obvious to me that everyone wanted to be as naked as possible at the beach. But society stopped us because everyone knows nipples threaten public safety. And heaven forbid we allow anyone to get an even tan." She slipped the swimsuit down. Her breasts hung heavy on her chest, free from the stifling fabric. Her sadist side chuckled as John let out an embarrassing squeak. "Really, I think we were always headed to this. Seems a shame to keep delaying the inevitable, right, John?"

John made a strangled noise.

Rose wriggled her swimsuit off her hips and deliberately slid it down her long, shapely legs. She kicked the skimpy fabric onto the sand and lay back on her towel. "Ah, much better. Don't you agree?"

"I, um, uh…"

"It seemed only fair, given your own state of undress."

"You didn't have to-"

"I'm not making you uncomfortable, am I, John?" She stretched out, pushing her chest forward. Rose watched John squirm out the corner of her eye. His struggle to keep his crotch covered grew harder and harder, much like his cock. "I can see why Jade was so eager to get you naked."

His face turned as red as Dave's god-tier outfit. "S-stop staring!"

"I'm not staring, I'm observing."

"That's the same thing."

"It's a perfectly normal bodily function, John."

"Oh god, you're not going to give me the talk, are you?"

"Maybe, I will. Someone has to at some point." She looked past him, pulling her sunglasses further down. "Though perhaps Jade and Dave will be giving a practical demonstration soon."

John's head whipped round to the other two. "Oh, come on! Seriously? They're doing that here?"

"You know Jade better than both of us. Does this surprise you?"

"Please don't remind me about those three years…" John shuddered.

Rose snuck closer to him, rolling onto her side and walking her fingers over his hip.

"Wha-!" John jerked back. "Rose!"

"Something the matter, John? I would have thought you'd prefer this view, given your complaints."

"I, uh-"

Rose chuckled, posing herself like she was in a lingerie catalogue; one hand on her hips as the other propped her shoulders up, legs lightly crossed. John gulped, his eyes flicking across all of her. She rested her head in her hand, slowly trailing her eyes down his body and to where his cock lay flopped on his thigh. Rose licked her lips.

"I didn't realise you'd brought one of your hammers with you."

"I didn't- oh. Oh my god, don't you dare. I swear, Rose if you make a joke about nailing something I will never speak to you again."

"Do you really think so little of me?" She smirked, silently disappointed that he'd gotten ahead of her. Her thighs ground together. Whether it was the strange thrill of being naked, Jade's fun little display, or merely the sizable cock in plain fucking view, Rose had to admit she was getting hot and bothered.

John watched Rose chew her lip, a bead of sweat rolling down his neck. "Uh, Rose?"

"Do you spend all your time alone, John?"

"Um… I guess? I don't get many visitors on the new Earth, but that's-"

"A shame, really. Maybe if you'd embrace Jade's habits, you wouldn't be in such a precarious situation."

"Precari-what?"

"Precarious. As in teetering on edge. Nearing the end, John."

"End of what?"

Rose shoved him onto his back, holding him down with her left hand. "My restraint."

Before John could protest, she dragged her tongue down his chest, leaving a trail of kisses from his navel to the tip of his cock. Her right hand curled around his hilt, holding it upwards as she admired it. She shifted onto her knees, making sure to push her plump rump into the air, and licked up his rock hard shaft.

"Holy shit!"

"Hmm… salty, with a touch of bitterness." She swirled her tongue around his tip. "But not unpleasant."

"Rose, what the f-aah!" His back arched as Rose swallowed half his cock in one motion.

She pushed her hair out of her face, looking smugly up at him as she popped off his cock. "Just as I thought; I'll have to practice a little more."

John let out a strangled noise again.

Rolling her eyes, Rose kissed down his cock. She stroked the saliva covered tip with her hand, lavishing his shaft and balls with her tongue. A few strategic moans to keep him in the right frame of embarrassment, though she'd be lying if she said she wasn't getting some satisfaction out of it. John's cock twitched, a thick bead of pre oozing from his head. She lapped it up in an instant, rolling the saltiness in her mouth. Content that John wasn't going to try and escape, she slipped her left hand between her thighs and stroked her waiting pussy.

***

"Fucking hell, Jade…" Dave panted.

His hips bucked into her hand, a sign she knew well. Jade tapped his shorts, and they vanished into the same ether as the other swimsuits. She squeezed herself against him, her thighs clamped tightly together as Dave shivered under her touch. Nothing better than reducing a boy to a desperate mess. Except maybe being the desperate mess herself. She nibbled his neck and slowed her stroking, letting Dave do most of the work.

"Wow, Dave, I didn't know you liked it in public so much," Jade whispered.

"Don't give me that sh-shit, Harley. You know what you're doing."

"Yep," She teased, softly kneading his balls. Dave's hitched breath was music to her ears, every twitch another reason to keep him hovering on edge. But then again, patience had never been her strong suit. She stroked faster, watching his cock with rapt attention. His legs trembled, forcing him to lean on her for support.

With a sudden grunt and thrust, Dave came. His cock pulsed in Jade's hand, ropes of cum spurting out and oozing over her fingers. She slowed her stroking, teasing out every last drop.

"Wow, that was a big one, Dave!" She brought her sticky fingers up to her mouth, eagerly licking the strands of cum away. "Were you saving up for me?"

Dave flopped against her, breath shallow. He mumbled something, but she didn't quite catch all of it.

Jade looked over to the other two, her ears perking up, and her tail wagging madly. "Ooh! I didn't even have to do anything!"

"Guh…" Dave said.

"Is it okay with you if I jump over there? Thanks!" And she vanished, leaving Dave to stumble back and shake the haze out of his head.

She reappeared opposite Rose with a big grin on her face. "Hi, John!"

"H-huh?!" John sat up, scrambling back. "Jade! What're you doing here?"

"Um, watching you two?"

"That's super creepy!"

"In her defence, we were also watching her and Dave enjoy themselves." Rose countered, still casually stroking John's cock. "And while this beach is private, all of our actions are very public."

"More like pubic!" Jade stuck her tongue out. "Besides, I already told you I like your cock, John. There's nothing wrong with me wanting to see it in action, right?"

"Yes, there is!" John's hands gripped the towel beneath him, frantically glancing between the two smug girls at his crotch. "Has everyone come down with some sort of weirdness disease? This is seriously not normal for-"

His jaw hung slack as Jade swallowed a good portion of his cock. She bobbed her head a few times, moaning around his shaft, before popping off and licking her lips. "Wow, it's so much bigger than I thought it'd get."

"It is impressive, isn't it?" Rose mused. "I was just thinking that I could use some help handling it."

"Hehe, really? Well, it's a good thing you've got an expert cumslut right here to help you."

"You don't mind if we continue like this, do you, John?" Rose didn't give him time to reply, wrapping her lips around his tip and teasing him with her tongue.

John sat there as his mind tried to process what the fuck was going on. And failed, since every time a coherent thought tried to walk in, the feeling of two incredible tongues working along his cock and balls wiped it out. The girls' noisy slurping and sucking mingled with their low moans and giggling. Rose had technique and finesse, finding the perfect spots around his tip or along his underside. Jade made up for it with eager energy, bobbing her head wildly and taking his cock further and further into her tight throat.

"Are you still opposed to Jade's lifestyle, John?" Rose asked.

John thought it was cheating to ask that question while Jade deep-throated his cock. She looked up at him through her round glasses, lips pressed against his hips and her tail wagging with glee. Jade swallowed around him, her throat squeezing his cock. John's hands grabbed at the towel, his whole body shaking. She pulled off with a pop and a gasp, saliva dripping down her chin and chest. He didn't have time to answer before Rose's painted lips descended down his shaft.

Jade squeezed her tits between her elbows. "Come on, John. Don't hold back for me!"

"This is so fucking wrong," John whimpered.

"But it feels amazing!" She gleefully sucked his sack, watching Rose sink further and further down with each bob of her head.

Rose pulled away, licking his shaft between shaky, panting breaths. "That is much harder to do than I expected."

"You just need some more practice, is all," Jade teased.

"Perhaps we should arrange some tutoring sessions."

"Uh, g-guys?" John shuddered, his hips thrusting into the air against his will.

"Ooh! That'd be fun! But we'd need a lot of toys to really test you out." Jade swirled her tongue over John's tip.

"I don't think it'd be difficult for us to find live volunteers," Rose said, stroking John's shaft.

"Do the trolls even have dicks? Like, humanish ones? Ooh, or are they weird tentacle things?"

"Well, I can tell you that Kanaya- oh!" Rose blinked in shock as a rope of cum splattered across her face. John writhed beneath the girls, biting his lip as his hips jerked upwards. Spurt after spurt of thick cum shot into the air, mostly landing on Rose's sharp features. She knelt back, scooping a dollop off her face. "This is… odd."

"Woah! John, how much have you been holding back?" Jade gasped.

"S-sorry, Rose," John mumbled. "You two were just way too much."

"The smell is quite intoxicating." Rose strung a strand between her fingers. "I can see why you're so fond of it."

Jade's smile grew, her tail wagging with mischievous intent. She leapt over John and pushed Rose to the ground. Rose squealed in shock, then with laughter as Jade's tongue lapped up the cum on her face.

"Jade! No, down, girl!" She laughed, the two of them rolling onto her towel. Rose wriggled under Jade's grip, the dog-girl eagerly slurping up John's mess.

John stared with his mouth hanging open as the two naked girls wrestled together. His head still swam with post-orgasm haze, his cock sensitive to even the lightest breeze. And now the blood was rushing back there as Jade's tits squished against Rose's, her arse wriggling above Rose's massive thighs.

"Yeah, your first threesome will do that to you," Dave said, settling down on the towel next to John.

"Do what?"

"Knock you the fuck out, duh. You think dealing with one horny Harley is bad, try several dream-bubbles full of them. And that's when she didn't drag in some obscure ancestral troll to play pretend with." Dave pushed his sunglasses up. His hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, betraying his previous activities. "Welcome to my life, Egbert. It's all eight-hour cock binges and cum-drunk dog girls from here on out."

"Jesus, Dave! She's my… you know."

"Uh, huh. And did that matter when she was sucking you off? Hell fucking no, it didn't. Shit, I just watched you cum all over Rose, and you don't see me complaining. Honestly, kind of impressed you got her down there so quickly. Me and Jade thought it'd take way longer to get you to bang." Dave raised his palm to signal a high-five.

John blinked. "Wait, hold on, you were in on this?"

"Don't leave me hanging, man. It's rude."

"Oh, I'm rude? You tricked me into coming on this stupid-"

John's complaint got cut off by a nuclear green flash of light. He squeaked as Rose's weight suddenly settled on his hips; her thighs squeezing around him as her plump arse smacked onto his legs. His cheeks lit up again as a mildly amused Rose looked down. She cocked an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips.

"How very subtle, Jade." She said.

"Not sorry!" Jade stuck her tongue out. She sat herself down on Dave, grinding her crotch against his. "Hey, Dave…"

"What is it, Jade?" Dave lay back on the towel.

"I'm really horny."

"Shit, what's new?"

She giggled, sliding her hand down Dave's toned stomach. With a quick lift of her hips, Jade propped his cock up and sank down to the hilt. Her eyes rolled back, her hands pressing onto Dave to hold herself up. She wriggled her hips, chewing on her lower lip as she quivered atop him. Leaning back, she began to slowly slide along his cock, her tits jiggling with each little impact.

"Fuck, yes…" She moaned, sliding her hands up to her chest. Her breasts moved hypnotically, spilling out over her hands as she squeezed and tugged her nipples. Soft whimpers leaked out of her, her thighs twitching: trying to clamp around Dave's hips.

Rose gently pushed John's gawking expression toward her. "Let's not get too distracted, John."

"Wait, are you seriously saying we should…?" He gulped.

"I would have thought my intentions were quite obvious. Unless you think sucking your dick was a new form of greeting, like a handshake."

"But aren't you and Kanaya, um… you know?"

Dave sighed. "John, do you really think the trolls are going to give a damn about monogamous crap? Karkat's tried to explain this shit to me like five times already, and I can't figure out what goes on in their love triangles. Or quadrants, or whatever the fuck. Pretty sure they're allowed, like, five relationships at once or some shit. And that's excluding the fact this is casual dick. Like, shows up to the party in jeans and a sweatshirt casual. This dick is lying on the couch, smoking a blunt and talking about the weather, it's that casual."

"Not quite the way I'd describe it, but your point is made." Rose ground her cunt along John's cock. "Well, John? Do you think our friendship is ready for a few extra benefits?"

"Uh… not really?"

"If you'd like me to stop, I won't judge you. Though it may extend our stay somewhat."

"Wait, I didn't say that I-!" John squeaked as Rose propped his cock up and sank down on it in one smooth motion.

Rose shuddered, her hands resting on John's chest. Her thighs quivered as she let out a single, sharp breath.

"Are you okay, Rose?"

"Just… peachy." She groaned, pushing herself down another inch. "It's very different to what I'm used to. The lack of a vibration function does leave a little to be desired."

"Ha, ha."

"But, I will say, the size more than compensates for it." She smirked, rolling her hips. "Oh! I can feel it twitch, too. That's interesting."

"Yes! That's one of the best parts!" Jade gleefully bounced in place, her tits jiggling wildly. "It's like you can feel how desperate they are to pump you full of baby batter!"

"Harley, don't put it like that." Dave slid his hands up to Jade's hips. "No one in the history of ever has thought 'baby batter' sounded erotic."

"Less talking, more pounding!"

"You're the one on- Whoa, shit!"

Jade slammed herself down on Dave's cock. The slow, romantic rhythm gave way to hard, animalistic riding; like a bitch in heat, she squealed and moaned with each bounce. Her nails dug into his shoulders. Loud smacks filled the beach. She threw her head back and howled, pausing only for a moment to let a shiver of pleasure wrack her body.

John's cock twitched while his head spun with confused feelings. On the one hand, it was Jade. On the other… holy shit. The confusion got worse as Rose followed suit; a few slow thrusts leading into vigorous riding. Her arse jiggled as it smacked against his thighs. She arched her back, one hand on his leg to steady herself while the other slid down her stomach. Rose licked her lips with a ravenous expression. He had no idea what to do with his hands. Or anything, really. 

On instinct, he smacked her arse, and Rose let out a shocked yelp. For a split second, her confidence vanished. John grabbed her by the hips and thrust upwards. Her rhythm faltered, and for once, John felt in control. He forced her to bounce to his beat, jerking his hips upwards to plunge deeper into her tight, wet cunt. Rose's expression turned from shock to panic, to confused pleasure as sharp moans escaped her.

Jade giggled. "Someone's not used to getting fucked, huh?"

"N-normally, I find myself in control," Rose gasped, her eyelids flickering, "But this is… quite the experience."

"Aw, still trying to stay classy? You don't have to hide how much you love it, Rose!" Jade arched her back, biting on her lip to stop a loud moan. "Just let yourself get fucked! I-I love it so much!"

She half-collapsed forward, barely catching herself as Dave thrust upward. Her eyes rolled back in her head, her moans turning to whimpers.

"You're a real dumb slut, aren't you?" Dave said with forced nonchalance.

"Yes!" She cried, "Fuck me, fill me, pump all that cum in me! Please, Dave!"

"Is she always like this?" John asked.

"Pretty much. Three creampies a day, minimum. Sometimes five if she's really frisky." Dave's hands gripped Jade tighter, squirming under her.

"I can't say I s-see the appeal." Rose shuddered, biting her lip as she ground down on John.

"You've never been creampied before?"

"There hasn't been much –ah!- o-opportunity."

Jade gasped, her tail wagging. "Oh my god, it's the best feeling ever! Dave fills me up every time, and it's just so good. You have to try it! Right now!"

"I don't think that's very-"

"No excuses! John, I demand you put a baby in her!"

"Wait, what?!" John exclaimed.

"That's quite the escalation." Rose's body didn't stop, though; her hips kept slamming down on John's even as the danger grew.

"Please, Rose?" Jade whined. She reached across and ran her fingers over Rose's clit, smirking as the blonde goth trembled. "All you gotta do is let John finish inside you. Let him fill you up with that thick cum of his. It feels so fucking good, and maybe you'll get a cute little baby belly out of it too!"

"I-I…" Rose whimpered. She pressed her hips forwards, begging Jade to keep rubbing her. Her breath grew ragged and short, her rhythm wild and desperate. Her composure melted away until she was riding John with the same animalistic ferocity as Jade rode Dave.

The two of them moaned and gasped as their partners fucked them, riding with frantic vigour. Jade howled and barked, bringing Dave's hands up to grope her enormous chest as it jiggled free. John smacked Rose's arse, his pace increasing as she moaned. He could feel the pressure building at his hilt, bursts of pleasure, sending shivers up his spine. Rose looked down at him with pure desperation, her mouth slightly open as if on the verge of screaming. He grabbed her hips and thrust as fast and hard as he could, fuelled by his own orgasm being so teasingly close.

Jade flung her head back and howled like a wolf, her whole body shaking. She grabbed Dave by the wrists and held him in place. Her eyes rolled back, and her tongue lolled out, her body quivering in time to her short, sharp breaths. Dave groaned beneath her, a few wild thrusts before his own body stiffened.

Rose slammed down on John, collapsing forward and screaming as her eyes glazed over. Her thighs clamped around him, and her cunt squeezed as if trying to milk him. Tried and succeeded: John bit his lip and grunted with his last thrust. He threw himself over the edge, his cock pulsing with pleasure while emptying rope after rope of cum into Rose's greedy cunt. She shivered and writhed above him, her moans timed to his spurts.

The four of them lay still for a few moments, the only sounds their panting breath and collective, satisfied groans. John flopped back onto the towel, pushing his sweat-soaked hair out of his face.

"Mmm…" Jade purred, wriggling her hips atop Dave. "That was a real big load, Mr Strider."

"Only the best for you," He tried to play it off as cool, despite the breathlessness in his voice.

"So, Rose? What do you think?"

Rose panted for a few seconds, slowly sitting up and sliding off John's cock. A drop of cum oozed out of her and down her thigh.

John felt the colour drain from his face. "Oh shit, oh shit… Rose, I'm so sorry, I should have-"

"John," Rose growled.

"Oh shit."

"I'm going to need you to do that to me again."

"What?"

"Let me make it simpler for you." She rolled her hips, looking down at him like he was her favourite dildo. "Cum. In. Me. Again."

"Yes!" Jade punched the air.

"Argh, Jesus, Harley, watch where the tail is wagging," Dave winced.

***

"This is still too weird," John panted.

The sun shone over the beach like it had many months ago, the bright white sand almost blinding. The four of them stayed huddled in one spot, the girls lay back on reclined deck chairs. A warm breeze wafted past, carrying with it the salty taste of the sea. And, now at least, the familiar smell of sex.

"What's the matter, John?" Jade teased. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer: forcing his cock deeper inside her sopping wet cunt. "Don't you like watching these fat tits jiggle for you?"

"Oh god, don't make it weirder…" John groaned. Not that it stopped him from pounding away at her, sweat dripping down his naked body.

"What's the worst that's going to happen? Not like you can make me any more pregnant than Dave did." Jade settled back, running her hands over her taut, distended belly. She purred as John's pace quickened. Seemed like her little fetish had passed on quite nicely to him.

"I think he's going to have his hands full enough as it is." Rose chuckled, tweaking a nipple and looking down at her own pregnant body. "Mmph, if I'd only known how sensitive I'd get."

"Shit, I could have told you about it ages ago," Dave said between thrusts, Rose's calves draped over his shoulders as he fucked her. "Did your thighs get bigger too? Or just your tits?"

"Oh, both. Kanaya has been having quite the interesting experience modifying all of my outfits to accommodate my new measurements." Rose sucked in a short breath, letting her head roll back with a moan. "Fuck, right there…"

"How's she taking the pregnancy?"

"She's rather looking forward to, and I quote, 'looking after the little human grub.' And I think she's very interested in the process itself." Rose smirked, glancing over at John. "I may have to share you with her. For demonstration purposes, of course."

John shuddered, almost collapsing onto Jade. "Jesus, Rose, I think I have my hands full already."

"Not as full as your dick makes me feel!" Jade pushed against him, her thighs squeezing tighter. "Come on, John, momma's got a craving for cum, and you need to fill me up!"

John squeaked as she forced him to keep pace. Jade lay back, closing her eyes and enjoying his girth as it stretched her out. She slipped her hand past her belly and rubbed at her aching cunt. Fuck yes. All it had taken was one good day of hard fucking, and now the four of them were all on the same depraved page. They'd even started going naked outside the beach, much to Jade's eternal delight. Now all she had to do was get the others in on this, and her exhibitionist paradise could become a reality.

She moaned aloud, squeezing her breasts. All according to plan!


End file.
